The Road Less Traveled
Sometimes, the road that you choose to drive down can lead you to meet some incredible people. For me, this proved to be true when I was driving through small towns in Connecticut towards Delaware, and I met Darin.
I went into a small electronics boutique hoping to get a replacement power cord for my laptop and support a local small business at the same time! Darin was working behind the counter, finishing up with a customer when I walked in.
We chatted together for a few minutes and quickly determined that he didn’t have my power cord in stock and that I’d be better off at a Best Buy. We eventually got to talking about the #MoneyProTour I was on.
An Open Conversation About Job-Loss & Divorce
Darin was open and honest with me as we sat down and talked about Personal Finances and Money Decisions. “Good thing I saved when I did because people don’t save enough money – that’s for sure,” he said. “When I ended up losing my job and getting divorced, all in the same year, it was my retirement savings, investment accounts and 529 plans that I had set up for my kids that were there to save me. I needed to tap into those accounts. I hated to do it. But I’m glad I had them in the first place. If I didn’t have them, I don’t know what I would have done.”
Darin told me that he and his ex-wife never “talked” about money together when they were younger. Things were going well. He made a great salary, and his kids had a stay-at-home mom that was there for them during their early years. Everything was going fine. It wasn’t until Darin lost his job that tensions built up and climaxed with splitting up with his now ex-wife.
“She really put me into a tough position,” Darin said. They had gotten accustomed to a certain lifestyle and disagreed about how to sacrifice and adjust during tough times. His ex-wife went so far as to empty out their Joint Bank Accounts, close Credit Cards that had Darin as a co-owner, and leave him with “less than $1 in the bank.” It was only thanks to the fact that Darin was a diligent saver throughout his 20’s and 30’s that he had built up a solid balance in his retirement account at work. He also had saved into his own investment brokerage account as well as 529 plans for his kids. While of course he didn’t want to tap into them, Darin needed to use these funds during a difficult time in order to ensure his bills were getting paid and food was in the fridge.
Learning and Moving On
In an ideal world, would it have been great to have his own Emergency Fund savings account in his own name separate from his wife? Darin says “Yes.” He made it clear that even after these challenging times, he still believes in marriage and love “and all that other stuff” he says with a chuckle, “…but having some money set aside in just your own name is a smart idea nonetheless.” I agree completely.
Darin has been working in electronics for the past 2 plus years since his divorce and job loss, and he is now a manager and earning a solid income. He’s rebuilding his financial life and focuses a bunch of his time and energy on spending time with his kids and being there for them.
Americans all over the country must learn from this conversation. While it is not fun to think about, the truth is that preparing for things like losing a job must be done ahead of time. We’ve gotta be real about it.
Having conversations with your partner (yes those tough and not-fun conversations) can be “preventative medicine” for a happy marriage. Being on the same page with your partner about how you’ll react financially if things go wrong in your life is super important. It’s not just about what your goals and dreams are for the future if everything goes well. It’s also important to have a conversation about how you’ll handle tough situations as well, such as aging parents, children’s health, education expenses, and more.
Start by hearing what Darin had to say.
Watch the full video below – and SUBSCRIBE to “The Money Pro Method” YouTube Channel if you haven’t already!
Dimitry Neyshtadt ChFC has helped Americans optimize their Personal Finances since 2006 and is currently traveling 25 States in 25 Weeks across the USA. Follow along at @90DayMoneyPro for more.
